17 October 2006

Good Dark Morning

Still wiping crusty sleep from my eyes I wonder where all the time goes. A year ago I was teaching in Spain, two years before that I was going to school and working full time. Where have the summer and warm sockless mornings gone? How did I go through yet another summer and only go camping once? I have always hated New Years resolutions because I don't think you should wait until the new year to have resolve in your life. You always think, this year I'll work out more, eat healthier, go camping and enjoy the ocean more, I'll be less stressed out, work harder and on and on and on. But then when there are more leaves on the ground than on the trees you realize that you haven't made any resolve at all. Here you are, waking up to cold, damp and dark mornings only to find that summer is gone and you cannot find your slippers. So now that the time has gone, what to do? How do we not mourn this loss of time yet still move forward? How do we find a peace about the things we haven't done but yet still want to do? Perhaps this is the quandary of life. The quandary of moments like this; where I haven't had any coffee, my feet are cold, and I'm restless about not seeing the sun anymore.

October will come and go; November will as well; and then December and a descending into a winter of percolating resolve. What will I do differently next year, or right now? Why don't or why haven't I done it already? So when you decide to hibernate this year, what will you be sitting on? What are the decisions or thoughts you are waiting for spring to burst forth towards the sun? Right now my seeds are planted but I forgot what I put in the ground. So my winter will be a quiet one of spring surprises.

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